My Skin

I’m sad, I don’t know how long I can keep going like this for. Too tired to do anything, but knowing there is something wrong.

I cant keep feeling like this for much longer. Don’t even know how long I’ve been feeling like this, but I honestly don’t know a time when I didn’t feel like this.

When asked how I am, my mind says:

“I’m not ok, I’m not feeling the best. Have been like this for quite some time if I’m honest, just feeling sad practically all the time and its bringing me down. Behind this smile and my loud laugh is me in pain and I feel so lost and lonely. I don’t know what to do”

but what comes out is:

“I’m fine, you?”

Sometimes I get angry with people for not noticing how I’m really feeling. Like how can you see what I’m really like, if I’m that good at hiding my true colours then it seems I’ve found my talent. Yay me (!)

What’s wrong with me? Why am I like this, I don’t understand why I’m like this. I don’t want to keep feeling like this, it’s stopping me living my life. Sure I go to college and have a good amount of friends, I have a good social life and a happy family (well as much as they can be). On the outside I seem like a normal, happy and fun loving person. I’m not really, not by a long shot.

I need help, from someone who can see what’s happening to me. Please…

~Dan x

They say that promises sweeten the blow, but I don’t need them…